How does a congregation regain a sense of community following a church-split? If community is based on a certain number of people or specific persons then you may never reestablish community. But if community is based upon agape love for one another and a willingness to work together for the Kingdom of God, then it might not be too hard to find.
Church splits always hurt! Primarily, they hurt God and his eternal purposes. Evidence is found that we do not live with a true desire that "thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10). Evidently, temporal kingdoms are the dividing issues and church is primarily about us.
A primary consideration for a church in this situation is to go back to the basics of a church's mission, vision and values. What is the mission or purpose of the church? Is it primarily church growth? Is our success or value placed on our ability to build large buildings and attract great numbers of people? Are our programs our greatest contribution to the city in which we live?
Or, is the mission and purpose to build a people of faith who will live out the purposes and priorities of God as reveal in Jesus Christ? Dallas Willard makes this point in his excellent work "The Great Omission" as it deals with discipleship as the part of the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) that we have lost. Evangelism that just focuses on the act of salvation (forgiveness of sins) and looses the importance of discipleship (Christlikness in Kingdom living) seems to be just another "ism".
Maybe the term we are looking for is Evangelization! This would imply a process of reconciliation, restoration, and renovation in daily living. Eternal life (John 17:3) would then be understood from the perspective of relationships and would begin now. Thus, it would be a merging of the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-39; Mark 12:29-31 and Luke 10:27) with the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) and the New Commandment (John 13:34-35) to love one another as Christ has loved us to thus prove our discipleship.
Rebuilding community must then focus on the mission/purpose of the church as the kind of faith community that produces disciples that love one another as well as become loving neighbors (Luke 10:29-37) that show mercy to anyone in need. First steps would tangible acts of confession and forgiveness (Matthew 5:23-24). This must be modeled by faithful "leaders" who are more concerned about faithfulness to Christ than their image or reputation (ego?).
Finally, grace must become the operative norm. Grace must permeate our attitudes and actions. Grace must be practiced and not just pronounced. Grace must be received and not just requested.
Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt,
Yonder on Calvary's mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.
Grace, grace, God's grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God's grace,
Grace that is greater than all my sin.
Sin and despair like the sea waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold,
Points to the refuge, the mighty cross.
Dark is the stain that we cannot hide,
What can avail to wash it away?
Look! there is flowing a crimson tide;
Whiter than snow you may be today.